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#98 Gourdon Ramsay

Gourdon Ramsay has been cooking his whole life and he just got known for his crusty meat. He never shares whats in his food but everyone that has tried it knows its the best crusty meat in the world! When Gourdon was just a lil pal he made his mom a meal that had tons of flavor and little did she know fetus Gourdon made the flavor out of his fathers liver and gallbladder.

Ever since that day she just thought that he left her. Fourteen years later he entered a cooking contest, when he got home he got his knife and other supplies that he will need. He first grabbed his eggshells and mixed them with his mothers lungs. He spent hours on it when finally he got his loaf of meat. It had a thin crust on top flavored with pig ribs and mongoose bellybutton. He called it Crusty meat. It was perfect and genius.

He confidently walked over to where the contest took place with his crust meat covered in foil to keep it fresh resting on his left hand. He set it down on the judges table with a smile on his face. “enjoy” he said “T-thanks.” The two judges say as they hesitated a couple times before taking the foil off. The foil was of, the meat was naked and the expression on the judges face was like they were Raven from That’s so Raven and they saw into the future but instead of seeing something cool they saw something like the devil singing Blurred Line by Robin Thicke. They were horrified but they had to give everyone an fair chance. One of them took his gold fork and inched it closer to the crusty meat, he was trembling and going as slow as he can. The other judge gulped her Pokemon go frappuccino before picking up her gold fork, she was going a little faster than the other judge but she was still going slow. Gourdon Ramsay was sweating as he payed close attention to the terrified looks on everyone watching the judges inch closer and closer to the meat. Eventually the forks touched the circular shaped meat and they took a small amount off the corners. They were shaking as the put the meat up to their mouth’s. The meat is so close they can smell the pungent smell of lead paint even though it didn’t even have lead paint in it. They took a bite and their expression went from they just finished eating bread that expired in 1426 to they just saw Zac Effron. They loved it and they ate it all,

Gourdon got first place and his own restaurant and not a single person knows that they ate a human body. Gourdon is now rich and still puts human parts in his crusty meat and gives it to people who have no idea.

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This scarecrow can be found at 135 E. Laurel Ave., Sierra Madre, CA 91024

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